118. I made you cilantro chimichuri last night and you loved it. I love when you rave about my cooking and when you say "this might be one of the best things you've ever made" it's like pure crack for me - I just can't get enough.

119. I have been married to you for a month and it feels amazing. I am so lucky to have you as my husband with many many more months to come!

116. You got WASTED at the giants playoff game this week, and I got a call from some random chick to come pick you up at the caltrain station because your phone had died. You are the happiest and sweetest and cutest drunk ever...

117. I have been having a really hard time with motivation and discipline this last week or so, and have been a little depressed and you have really helped me. You are so patient and kind with me. This is our email exchange:

Subject: A little late...
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From: Michael Wall
Date: Thu, Oct 21, 2010 at 10:22 PM
To: Heather Wall


hi sweetheart,

I guess the most important thing to tell you is I love you, always. I think about all the times when I was so so sad and depressed, I remember how you always comforted me and how you carried such a burden for the both of us. The way you responded to me in my frustration and despair was endless love and compassion, you really set the bar in our family for how to treat each other when one of us is suffering. Baby I know your sad and suffering a bit and it breaks my heart like I know it broke yours. I totally understand that plenty of this has to do with things you've got to work out on your own and thats ok. You've got all the time you need. But I really don't know how to help you, and it kinda seems like you don't want me too. I won't pressure you to do anything but I'm not doing my job if I don't try and help you. I know in your calmer moments you know just like I do that you are stubborn and you don't want to do things sometime because I encourage/remind/nag you to do them. I kinda feel like I'm walking on eggshells around some topics especially food and exercise. I feel like I'm wrong if I try to influence your decisions and I'm wrong if I act indifferent. I'll keep trying to remind you to do things and I hope that helps but ultimately everything is up to you. I'll be here to support you however I can. I love you with all my heart and I'll never stop trying to help you but sooner or later you've got to let me in and stop fighting me.

I'm guilty because the one thing I didn't do today (besides take stuff to St. Vincent's) is write you an email just to tell you how much I love you. I knew I should have written you sooner. I love you unconditionally, through and through, "I promise to love and cherish you for the rest of my life"...I promise. Its ok to be mad or sad or confused and frustrated, all of those things make us human and even when you're upset I'm still thrilled to be your partner and I couldn't imagine sharing my life with anyone else.

I love you

M

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From: Heather Wall
Date: Fri, Oct 22, 2010 at 3:02 PM
To: Michael Wall


Hi Love,

Thank you for this email, I really needed to hear all of this. I knew it all already but reading it really helps.

I want you to know that I am honored to be your wife and I value your opinion above anyone's, often including my own. You are my rock and I could not live this life without you.

I don't really know what's going on with me right now....I feel like a slug, a stressed out and exhausted slug. I feel like an unmotivated slacker, and that causes me to be mad at myself which then causes me to be even less motivated. I think I was on a four year sprint and now I just feel like I need a break, and I know I am throwing a temper tantrum right now a little bit. I am sorry for this. You have been amazing, and your love is the best thing that has every happened to me.

I need to find my motivation and my discipline again, and I worry that if you help me too much that it will be fleeting. Like you said the other night, I need to rip myself out of this because when something like this happens again, I need to know I can. I need to build back up my good habits from the ground up and I need to do it for myself. I won't be able to do this without your love and support and extreme amounts of patience, but if you do it for me it won't last.

I feel like I need to get back to my routes - exercising, cooking, and being creative. Can you help with this? Can we maybe go get me some canvas this weekend? Can we plan menu's together and then cook together? The exercise thing needs to start with me, but can we maybe go play soccer or go on a hike? I am going to wine and complain the whole time, but I need you to yank me to the gym. Can we go this weekend?

Also, I think I need to have a night where we just drink some wine and maybe get a little drunk one of these days - like a practice drunk? I really want to party with my husband....let go a little bit. Forties? Wine? Somping..

I love you Michael, so so so much. I am sorry I am in a funk right now. It won't last too much longer, promise.

Love,

Your Wife!!

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From: Michael Wall
Date: Fri, Oct 22, 2010 at 3:51 PM
To: Heather Wall


Oh my gosh.

So so many good ideas I kinda got emotional, you know the kind when you know the person you love is hurting. (Don't feel bad or more upset about that, no reason). Wow, great email...good work. Mostly I'm kinda just stoked because it sort of describes whats goin on...puts the perverbial 'balls' on the table if you will.

Sugar I love you more than anything and its OK to kinda not know whats going on right now, you'll get out of it...seriously you will. It'll kinda suck sometimes an it won't feel good but you'll turn a corner and chances are that it'll probably be kinda soon. Even if it isn't its ok, you have an infinite line of patience/love to pull from. (you've got good credit in this category)

First of all, you're totally right. With a lot of this stuff, basically Heather is in charge and it doesn't help if Mike makes you do stuff. Which means I kinda can't yank you to the gym, but I can help! I'm here to be patient (and get pissed sometimes too) and not make you feel like I'm disappointed in you and the rest is kinda up to you. Just like you said, thats the way it sticks.

Stuff you said in the latter half of your email is where I got really stoked. So yes, yes and....yes. Tonight I'm thinking movie maybe (I like dragons) . Tomorrow we've got Nikki's thing in the morning, we're seeing the apartment between1-3pm, we can go get you canvas in the city. Maybe we go play soccer if its not raining too hard maybe at Crocker. (prob like a 15 min guy) Then we come home probabry for a nap. Then its booze and baseball time ooo! ooo! booze and the giants game!! oh my gosh I'm spazzing out. On Sunday its gym time, (go sweat out the booze and maybe swim) and chill time. Def a nap. and maybe some painting. That would be good.

Then we can plan an awesome dinner and go to da sto. YES M+H time!

So sugar I love you and I'm here to help you. You'll find your way, promise. Emails like this are good.

M.

115. I am your WIFE. I have never been so happy, so content, so humbled in my life. You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and I cannot believe I am so lucky to have you.